Random Thoughts

I am a student at Fayetteville State University. Everyday on my drive to school and home, I am always thinking about my life and random things. Lately, my thoughts have taken me to whether I chose the right major. I am currently majoring in sociology...only because the school does not offer a bachelors in social work. I guess some of the courses that I am taking make me second guess my career choice.  I want to be able to work with at-risk youth/children or assist the elderly. How is a course in research methods going to help me do that? I'm just not sure of who I am anymore and what it is I want. Sometimes I feel like I've lost myself in being a wife and mother that I question what career path I want to take.

I think about my family back home and all I feel like I'm missing.  I miss just being around my family and just having them around. I've been thinking about my papa and how his health is going. I feel it in my heart that when my nana passed away, my papa just gave up on everything.  I just don't want to get the phone call that he's already passed and I didn't get to say good bye.

Even before my son was born, I've been struggling with my weight. In high school, I was in my weight range cause I played sports and danced hula. But after I came back from basic and ait training, I had gained about 20 lbs. From than, I had a hard time losing the weight and doing any pt.  I just gave up on myself and felt comfortable in what I had at the time. After I had my son, I had gained more weight, and today I still carry some of that weight. I watch so many shows about weightloss (Biggest Loser, Heavy, I Used to Be Fat) and always tell myself that I can do that....but I have no motivation.

My mind is full of random thoughts that I could never full jot down any of it. I could go from one random thought to another  just from hearing a song or seeing something.  So thats just some of the randomness that goes on while I drive to and from school.