Friday, September 28, 2012

Happiness...overrated or underrated?!

The past few weeks has been really difficult for me.  I find myself having a hard time grasping reality while dreaming of life that may not even happen.  I'm a big dreamer that I forget that my feet are planted on the ground and that I need to take my head out of the clouds once in awhile. I don't know if it's the pregnancy or anxiety, but I've been extra emotional lately.  It's so easy for me to put a smile on my face when I'm around others and break down once I'm all alone.

So much has happened since my last blog.  I graduated from college in May of this year. This past June, we found out that we are expecting our second child. The husband is away at school for the next four months.  And I find myself so lost in what to do.  There are just so many changes all at one time.  I like to think that I deal with change pretty good...but sadly I'm not dealing like how I see myself dealing.

I read this quote earlier today and it definitely describes me at the present time. 
"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved that it will be." - Marcel Pagnol 
I find myself thinking about when my friends and I lived close to each other that we practically saw each other once or twice during the week and almost every weekend.  I think about all that used to be done before and all the laughs and fun we had.  I feel like right now I'm not embracing the present as I should be.  I see it as just me going through the motions but never really enjoying it.  I think about what I would/could be doing in the future and how it seems so out of reach.

I need to constantly remind myself to enjoy the present, the past is but a memory, and tomorrow is a brand new day.  I need to remember that I am the only person that can control my happiness, everyone and everything are just mere contributors to my happiness.  So here's to me, trying to embrace happiness in every present moment...whether it be when I am alone, with my son, or with family and friends.  Wish me good luck!